Three Listening Vignettes
I continue to be amazed and inspired by what happens when I show interest in people’s stories. Listening is the key. Three days. Three stories. Sorrow. Pride. Pain. This could be a Country Western song.
Roy’s Cleaners (Friday)
I’ve been going to Roy’s Cleaners for 20+ years. The proprietor (not Roy) is a Chinese man about 65. His laundry is well-run. He is always efficient if not friendly. I took shirts in on Friday.
As he gave me the ticket for my shirts, he told me that in a month his laundry was closing. I said, “So sorry to hear that. You always do such a good job. That must be very hard for you.” He said, “They are selling the building.” I asked, “Do you want to retire?” With tears in his eyes, “No, I want to work.” We connected in that instant as never before.
I will pick up my shirts on Thursday.
Talk of Broadway (Saturday)
Talk of Broadway is my favorite Redwood City eatery, and Glory is my favorite waitress. As she handed me the menu, “What’s new, Rick?” “I just became a grandfather.” She said, “You will love it. I have three grandchildren,” then she told me about each one and what they are doing. I said, “That is amazing.”
Then Gloria pulled out her phone to show me her daughter, the mother of these grandchildren, “She is a partner at Price Waterhouse.” I asked, “Is she a CPA.” “Yes.” Gloria was smiling ear to ear.
She brought my sandwich.
Dinner Party (Sunday)
At a small dinner party at a friend’s house I met Susan, her 73-year-old friend visiting from LA. As the burgers were cooking on the bar-b-que, she and I got to talking.
Her husband had died a few years ago. She described how hard it is being alone. House to manage. No one to share her life with. A few dates. Mostly losers. A former FBI agent who voted for Trump. “Oh, no, no, no,” said Susan.
She was raised in a very serious Catholic family. One of her three siblings became a priest. She described being very proper when it came to sex, but she struggled with strong urges. In her late teens at a retreat she thought, “Oh what the hell?” and lost her virginity. Reconciling having sex outside of marriage was not easy. It took her years to feel OK about all this. She doesn’t go to church anymore.
I thought, how amazing. In a 15 minute conversation with a total stranger, Susan felt comfortable sharing her story.
When the party was over, she hugged me, “Nice talking to you.”
It’s always worth it to get into conversations with people near us – people we’ve never met. But then, suddenly, we’ve met.
That is sad about the cleaner. I feel for him. And one more story about how destructive and harmful the Catholic church is. — Sweet stories!
My father used to say “a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet,” so he talked with everyone. I was embarrassed by that as a kid but the wisdom of it is evident now since it’s the gateway to people’s stories as you demonstrate here. Tender, painful, human stories.
Everyone – all 8 billion of us – has a story.
All you have to do is ask, be interested, and most importantly, listen.
You are a master at this, Rick!