Repeal and Replace: The Financial Elite Are So Happy!

“Repeal and replace! Hooray for Donald Trump and our Republican-led government. Finally, we got it all: the White House; the Senate; the House. Now, we’ll get something done! Oh, and BTW, the Supreme Court of the future will resemble the Third Reich. ‘Bout time, I’d say.”

Not a minute too soon, we are going to junk this Obamacare nonsense. The benefits of repeal are many:

  • Get “Big Gubment” outta my health care. It is between me and my doctor. Your gubment bureaucrats can get the hell out.
  • Mitt Romney was SOOOO right: “47% are moochers.” Why should I take care of these lazy bastards? Stupid. Uneducated. Immigrants. Dropouts. Crack babies. I just don’t care?
    At last those 20,000,000 moochers on Obamacare will be kicked off. They can take care of themselves or die in the gutter. How is that my problem? I’ve worked hard to live in my gated community.
    What would Jesus do? Never mind Jesus, he was a communist.
  • It is a slippery slope from Obamacare to full-on socialized medicine. Do we really want to be like the rest of the world’s losers like England, France, Canada, Germany, Demark. Hell no! Give up PRIVATE health care, and pretty soon they’ll be after our guns.
  • As our good friend Peggy Noonan said recently in the Wall Street Journal (love their editorial pages), “God is in charge of history.” Well, duh. Those drunk, drug- addicted losers dying in the gutter, are God’s problem. Why should I be expected to take care of them? Their freedom to die in the gutter is what makes America great!
  • The “invisible hand” of the free market is the best thing capitalism ever developed. The gold standard of that is the health insurance industry. God bless them and their underpaid top executives. They need to raise premiums through the roof. To hell with these bellyaching hourly wage workers at the bottom. Oh boo hoo: they only make $11 an hour. Now they want to gouge the rest of us for $15. You might have noticed they all have smart phones and big screen TVs. What are they complaining about? They ain’t gettin’ no raise under our man Trump!
    Let’s pay the people at the top even more money since they bring us the wonders of PRIVATE healthcare. They do so much good for the rest of us. Now with Mr. Kenyan, Muslim, Socialist Obama out of the way, health care executives (CEO of United Health Care: $100M / year) can force Congress ($175K / year) to do what they pay them to do!!!
  • Finally, I can stop my lazy 26 year-old from mooching off my coverage. If our kids can’t take care of themselves, and pay their own premiums, let them join the great homeless masses under the freeway.
  • What? You have a “pre-existing condition?” Well, tough luck buddy. Why is that my problem? I work hard for my money and you can take care of yourself. You are not my problem. Your pre-existing condition is either your fault, or God’s will. Chin up, pal.
  • Premiums going up? Of course they’re going up. Look, idiot, how are we going to pay our prized executives and their share holders the money they deserve, if you don’t pay for it.
  • Best of all, because of the Citizens United decision, we can put whomever we choose into high office. Almost as good, voting is a local, state-run affair, so we can make sure those pesky, dumb, poor, backward country people won’t even get close to a ballot box. Icing on the cake: gerrymandering will keep our right-thinking lackeys in Congress doing what we tell them to do.


Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
My, oh, my, what a wonderful day

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