Language

CCS4SS

The major reason I got mediocre grades is that I can’t spell. I have zero interest in learning. What a waste of my precious time. It is genetic, like the color of my eyes. It is a disfunction in my brain. I have a brain disease.

The technical term for what I have is:  CCS4SS (Chronic Can’t Spell for Shit Syndrome)  I looked it up in the DSM-5 and in Google. It’s a defect in my DNA.  Specifically at location FOXP2, a few generations ago a random mutation occurred that changed the ‘2’ to a ‘3.’ So I have FOXP3 – that doomed me to never winning a spelling bee. I failed to get the Spelling Merit Badge in the Boy Scouts. In high school and college, I even got a “Disabled Person Placard” for my car so I could park closer to my dreaded English class.

I ain’t gonna try to fix it. I get “triggered” when I even hear words like Wordle or Crossword Puzzles.

My writing is serviceable but not great. My thinking is clear and sometimes even visionary. Worries about spelling slow me down.

         I would love to be a student today taking an English class where I had to do some writing. I’d go to the teacher and say,  “Look, Dr. Smith,  here’s the deal: I have a brain disease called CCS4SS. I can’t spell. It has always made me feel stupid but I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to let that stop me from writing and participating in this class.” And then I would say this in a loud voice: “I do not expect to be graded on my spelling. You may not correct my spelling! If you think good writing is about spelling… then phuque you. I’ll find another English teacher.  You may give me ideas about the clarity of my thinking, but if I catch you giving me shit for not being able to spell, I will fire your English PhD ass.  Let me say that again: I will fire your ass as my teacher.  I will not tolerate this bullshit.”

Truth of the matter: I can think clearly. I can write OK,  and I can hire a PhD English consultant to correct my spelling. Do not ever correct my spelling if you do,  you’re fired. (Mary excepted).

Linguistic Memes

Memes are cultural viruses that worm their way into our communications. Falling prey to these unconscious patterns marks a person as clueless. The current worst memes are… in order of severity…

1. “Right?”

   In the last few years, more and more TV commentators use this word incessantly, after they’ve made a statement they hope to get agreement on, “The Jeffery Epstein scandal, right? is splitting Trump’s MAGA base in half, right?”

2. Like…

   Pre-teens and young adults will often spice up their dialog, “So then Susan said, like, ‘That was so dumb…’” What is dumb is to keep sounding like a 14 year-old at your first job out of college.

3. Ya know?

   Used by all age groups as a mindless filler. Clueless.

4. Existential (I can’t stop beating this dead horse.)

   “Existential” as used by post-WWII philosophers, Sartre, Camu, Kirkegaard, meant a search for purpose or meaning. Waiting for Godot. Emptiness. Today everyone and their brother use the word to sound erudite. “The bombing is an existential threat to Gaza,” meaning a threat to their lives. It is the exact opposite of what “existential” means. But never mind. Use it if you want to sound cool. Wolf Blitzer does.

What makes these insidious verbal memes so bad is that they operate at a totally unconscious level. In PowrSpeaking training, nervous speakers often use the ever-popular filler word: “Uhm.” It marks them as clueless, unprofessional, without confidence, maybe even lying.

To get speakers aware of what they were doing, I often used a clicker to remind them when it happened. Quickly “uhm-sayers” could stop this habit.

If MSNBC would like me to come on set with my clicker to help their commentators stop saying “Right?” I’m available.

Political Speak

Dropping ‘ic.’ Far-right nutjobs just love to insult democrats by dropping the “ic” in democratic as an adjective. For example, “There are major problems in democrat run cities like Portland.” Really? That’s your best shot?

Trans Language. “Pregnant people.” “Chestfeeders.” “People who menstruate”. This language is designed to neutralize gender.

The democrats seem obsessed with not wanting to offend or “trigger” anyone. They focus on issues like trans men playing in women’s sports, and gender neutral language. Long-haul truckers, construction workers, and people in the trades who used to vote democratic, aren’t worried about pronouns. They are worried about feeding their families. No wonder the dems lost 2024.

Drill, baby, drill. This is Trump’s favorite. Doubt he knows that he is channeling the rallying cry “Burn baby burn,” of the violent protestors from the 1965 Watts riots that burned entire city blocks with damages as high as $250 million. The riots killed 34 people and injured over 1,000..

Ahh, the power of memes.