Hiker Along 280
Watering the Flowers
Suze Orman (self-described 68-year-old virgin):
“Trusting one’s husband with money is another thing I can’t deal with. Women may fake orgasms, but men fake their finances.”
Psychologist Rollo May:
“A patient brought in the following dream: ‘I am in bed with my wife, and between us is my accountant. He is going to have intercourse with her. My feeling about this is odd – only that somehow is seemed appropriate.'”
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
Sheltering in Place
- The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.
- This lockdown can go three ways…you either come out a hunk, a chunk or a drunk.
- The whole world is now Vegas. Everyone’s losing money, it’s acceptable to drink at all hours and no one has any idea what day it is.
- Did a big load of pajamas so I would have enough clean work clothes for this week.
- When all this is over, which meeting do I attend first: weight watchers or AA
- Never in a million years could I have imagined going to a bank teller with a mask on and asking for money
- They can open things up next month, but I’m gonna stay in until July to see what happens to you first.
- Things are getting weird. It’s like being 16 again, gas is dirt cheap and I’m grounded.
- The dumbest thing I ever purchased was a 2020 planner.
- WHEN THIS QUARANTINE IS OVER, LET’S NOT TELL SOME PEOPLE.
Fake blonds. Why is it that 50% of women in the media these days have the exact same hair style: dyed blond with 1″ of natural color on the part line? The other 50% (the older ones) have their hair colored dark with no gray coming through at the part., Diane Feinstein, Nancy Pelosi, etc. I think these 80-year-old women with jet black hair look silly.
Personal preference – I like to see women who let their hair grow naturally grey. It can look very appealing, think Emmylou Harris, Helen Mirren, Lady Gaga, etc. Talk about sexism, men in the media can look cool and distinguished with grey or white hair, consider: Anderson Cooper, John Stewart, Wolf Blitzer, Chris Matthews, Bill Maher, etc., but not the women.
My father died his hair black way into his 80s. Asked why, he told me: “No one wants to do business with an old man.”
When I was 55 my hair was lighter than his at 85. When I turned 70, I dyed my hair for my birthday party, exclaiming, “I refuse to get older. “Along with my tie dye tee shirt and gold chains, everyone thought I was 40. Ha.
I vote to let everyone grow out their hair naturally, as God intended it.
Joe Biden and Tara Reade
I just don’t care. As long as Biden is not a child-molesting, knife-to-their throats rapist like Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, or Matt Lauer, I don’t care what Biden did (or did not do) to Reade 27 years ago. If he can beat Trump, let’s not bring him down with this. We are getting too extreme with these tests of purity. We lost a damn good senator in Al Franken over a minor bad judgment stunt years ago.
BTW, I absolutely believed Christine Blasey Ford that Brett Kavanaugh and his drunken buddies sexually assaulted her. I also completely believed Kavanaugh that he doesn’t remember it. I would not keep him off the Supreme Court because of that. I would keep him off the Supreme Court because he is an entitled, self-centered, partisan asshole.
Trump Demands Churches Open
Am I the only one that sees the irony in devoted, mostly fundamentalist Christians demanding to go back to church, and then getting sick and dying? Why weren’t their prayers answered? Maybe because nobody is up there in the sky to hear them.
Longing for Syphilis and Gonorrhea
My first job after college was with the United States Public Health Service. My title: Venereal Disease Epidemiologist, or, as I was called on the street: Clap Cop. Epidemiologist? Someone who studies epidemics. During the 1963 – 1964-time frame, VD was rampant across the country. I was part of a national program run out of the CDC in Atlanta, Georgia designed to help treat this scourge.
It was a great time for sex. The birth control pill prevented unwanted pregnancy. AIDS was still three decades in the future. With antibiotics, venereal disease was not life-threatening. Just a couple of shots in the butt, and voila – problem solved. COVID-19 makes me think of the good old days of regular VD. Things were so much simpler back then.
Syphilis and gonorrhea are caused by “large” well-understood bacteria. You can see them with an ordinary microscope (a darkfield microscope with syphilis). For size comparison, you can fit about 150,000 gonorrhea bacteria on the head of a pin. You can fit 100 million COVID-19 viruses on the head of a pin.
Untreated gonorrhea or syphilis can cause serious problems like sterility (gonorrhea) or physical deformaties, insanity, and occasionally, death with syphilis. The good news: diagnosed and treated early, none of this happens. To date, COVID-19 has killed almost 100,000 Americans – almost twice the number that died in Vietnam.
Let’s say, this stud, we’ll call him “Dave,” goes to a party with gonorrhea. He has a romantic encounter with someone at the party and shares his VD. That person may have symptoms in three to ten days. Oh, BYW, Dave also had a slight cold and coughed and sneezed a lot during the party. No one got VD because of that.
Let’s say another person, “Betty,” goes to the same party with a slight fever and an undiagnosed case of Covid 19. Like Dave, she coughs and sneezes during the party. She shares her illness with everyone at the party. They may not know it for three weeks.
My job in the health department was to interview people like Dave when he came in for treatment and to find out who he has been sleeping with. I then located that person(s) by phone or in person and told them to come in for an exam. (This could be very awkward if the contact was married.) If Dave was very sexually active, he might give me ten names in the last month. Manageable.
On the other hand with Betty, we go back three weeks and might identify hundreds of contacts. What a nightmare.
The Good Old Days
Ah, if only we had to deal with just VD. No question how we get it. BTW, we don’t get it from a toilet seat or a doorknob – common non-sexual excuses we use to hear. To avoid VD, we don’t have to wear masks and practice social distancing. (Condoms help, though, and social distancing would be 100% effective.) To avoid VD, just don’t get in the back seat of the car. The treatment is straight forward. Really clear how to avoid getting VD – don’t have sex. How to avoid COVID-19, stay in bed and cover your head.
Testing is good for knowing the rates of infection in a population, or in an individual. But, five minutes later, everything could change. For example, the state of Nevada is strict about frequently testing its legal prostitutes for VD. The problem with all this testing, whether for VD or COVID 19 – the test just tells us we weren’t infected the moment we got tested. The next “John” or sneezer at a party could infect us immediately.
Shit, oh dear.
Apple space ship / Sales force tower…
3 thoughts on “Random”
You’ve been busy!
The “Windows” number busted me up nicely , Rick. The Biden comments are reasonable but the antagonists out there will not hear- damn them. ButI am concerned about some of his comments which seem a bit “off”.
I’m way behind in reading your posts, and now trying to catch up. I want to say I’ve been overwhelmed with other things to do, but for the life of me I couldn’t tell anyone – not you, not my wife (who’s “staying at home” in the same place as me), and not even me what those other things have been.
Today’s Monday, right?
Anyway, I’m glad I read tonight this May 24 post, Because I desperately needed to laugh my ass off, your post provided the medicine, and I didn’t need to wait three days for it to be delivered and then risk Eileen’s life and mine by inadequately wiping the package or igniting it with 200-proof ethanol (normally added to gasoline but despite the toilet paper shortage cheap as hell now because hardly any gas is being used and the resulting global cooling is making it freeze here).
What made me laugh most is your assertion that God intended that everyone let their hair grow out naturally. In this regard I’ve been following what you say is God’s intention. Note that it is not my usual practice to follow God’s intention, but I was happy to note your view on the matter.
Now my hair, being an old fart’s, has not grown much over the last 12 weeks but it has grown completely naturally. And every night, until last night, I’ve fallen asleep confident that at least my hair, even if nothing else about me, has been proceeding according to divine intentions.
But last night I had a dream that startled me. God was grumbling “Man, what the hell are doing? Your hair is a fucking mess. The work of Satan himself. Don’t follow Gilbert’s advice. I love him, but he’s not my agent. Get your hair trimmed yesterday.”
So yesterday morning I told Eileen about the dream and asked her if she’d do God’s clearly expressed will and trim my hair. She said “God’s will? Hahahahaha. Since when have you given a rat’s ass about that?”
Then she conceded the truth about what I had thought God had said. “Yeah, your hair’s a f_____g mess. (Being one of her mother’s kids, she couldn’t bring herself to say the word.) And in case after 40 years you haven’t noticed, Rick has less of a direct line to God than even you or I have. Which is hard to beat, because we – or at least you – don’t have any.” Ouch.
Then she promised she’d trim my hair (in accordance with what I thought God had said) but on two condition: .(1) I’d let her use only a plain scissors, of which we have several, and not let me order a trimming scissors and clippers to replace the ones she gave away 35 years ago after deciding I could get my hair cut at a barber. (It’s hard to believe she couldn’t foresee the eventual need for them again.) And (2) I’d clean off from our dining room table my huge quantity of stuff deposited there over the last 12 weeks while I was keeping careful track of time.
Maybe 12 weeks from now my hair will be trimmed in accordance with Eileen’s version of God’s plan. If not Rick’s version of God’s plan will continue to rule until I have another bad dream. Or I’ll just rip a lot of hair out.