Elvis

After a week of horrific violence, commentators both right and left are urging us to get off of social media and out into our communities. Explore what we have in common instead of what tears us apart. Something like that happens every first Wednesday of the month at The Canyon Inn in Redwood City: Elvis.

Eddie Fernandez brings Elvis back to life at the Canyon Inn in Redwood City. What a bright spot in tumultuous times. Please watch this 9 minute interview with a most talented interpreter of “The King.” 

Empathy vs. The Gun

Talking about all this violence, commentators, both left and right proclaim, “This is not who we are.” Correction, this is exactly who we are, and have been from the beginning. “Empathy is a fundamental weakness,” says Elon Musk.

Stealing the land from the indigenous people. The Civil War. Political assassinations. School shootings. Churches. Synagogues. Super markets. Theaters. Charlie Kirk: “How to reduce gun violence…put guns in the hands of more Americas.” No, Charlie, we have plenty of guns. In fact, more guns than people in our Christian nation.

On the other hand, a new book by Chris Armitage, Conservatism: America’s Personality Disorder suggests we suffer from an “Empathy Deficit Disorder.” With our current divisive political rhetoric, our opponents are not just fellow countrymen with different opinions, but the enemy. Angry, isolated, often bullied people with unfettered access to guns, see the solution is by the bullet.

Mental health issues? Of course. But, isn’t the bigger issue our gun culture? Here’s an idea, repeal the Second Amendment. Ha. Fat chance.

Speaking of empathy and lack of it, don’t miss a new movie on Netflix, Straw (as in the last…). Best movie I’ve seen this year. 

Psychotherapy Bullshit

The Wall Street Journal of September 15th has an op-ed piece that addresses the issue of patients celebrating violence in the context of psychotherapy. The author, Jonathan Alpert, makes the point that he does not let people make statements about violence without being confronted.

“When a patient tells me someone deserved to die, I don’t let it pass. I ask him to look at what he is saying. That interpretation is the essence of therapy.”

I could not disagree more. It is not the essence of therapy to have a therapist interpret and correct what the patient is feeling. It may be that kind of bullying that brought the person to therapy in the first place. A therapeutic response that accepts the reality of those feelings will do a lot more to help the patient deal with his anger or isolation.

Feedback like “Look at what you are saying,” will likely be met with defensiveness and slow down the work of therapy. A better response would be, “You’re pretty pissed off about that.” Bingo. Feeling accepted. Trust is built. Patient may then go deeper into stronger feelings about what it all means. Progress.

Alpert’s response might be appropriate for a discussion group about current political issues. It ain’t therapy.