Ever have nightmares? I do. All the time. Here is a very upsetting, recurring dream:
The setting: end of a semester in college. I’m enrolled in a class, but never attended. I meant to drop the class but didn’t. The final is tomorrow. I’m very anxious and hysterically running around campus trying to fingure out what to do. Finally I wake up with my heart pounding. Very disturbing dream. Have had this dream for years.
New wrinkle. Two weeks ago I had the dreaded failure dream. Something different happened. In the midst of the chaos, I said to myself in the dream, “Wait. You are 78 years old. Does your future career depend on your grades? No. Or, graduating? No. Or getting that perfect job? No. What the hell are you worried about, Rick? Who cares if you get a big fat ‘F?’ Zero people. In fact, I could rack up ten ‘Fs’ and it would make no difference to my future. Soon enought my future will be in eternity. If there is a god, or after life, I doubt very much he, she, or it will give a rat’s ass about my college transcript. Nope. While my ten ‘Fs’ will go on my “permanent record,” I’ve heard that in paradise they don’t give a shit about my college transcripts. Ha. Haven’t had the dream since.