The Old Man
In seven days, I turn 80 – Fucking – 5 years old!
My neighbor sits by her husband’s bedside as he lays dying of cancer. She wrote me a note yesterday, the last sentence of which said, “It is so disheartening to see such a strong man disappearing before my eyes.”
We are all disappearing.
Clint Eastwood talks about working hard to “Keep the Old Man out.” Well, I embrace the Old Man. The Old Man is marching in. For all of us. Let’s stop fooling ourselves. The Old Man is sitting at the breakfast table with me.
I am here at 5:30 in the morning, staring out at the darkness. I have 1,000 stories to tell. But who will listen? Who will care? My daughter? Unlikely. Maybe that is the purpose of our Men’s Group, our Berkeley High Zoom Group, our Up and Under Point Richmond Breakfast Group, or our Harrison Ave block parties.
Maybe the best we can do in life is to help each other tell our stories.
I want only one thing: the deep, self-revealing stories of pain and sorrow, and of joys and successes. I have no time for sports scores, the weather, or politics.
“Books are resting places for the memories of souls who have moved on.”
My Shrinking World
Daily I look through my 50,000 + photos across many hard drives.
50 years ago – around the world
40 – 30 years ago around the US
20 – 10 years ago around California
Today, around the Bay Area
…and Redwood City
…and my garden
Now my challenges are to get the right light through delicate petals of a flower that will last only a few weeks.
My shrinking world is as it should be. No more running through airports, struggling with luggage, and feeling like a dope because I can’t speak French.
A new program from the Stanford Business School commanded: “Think Fast; Talk Smart.” I have zero interest in doing either. Today, I think slow. My talk is anything but smart… Nouns disappear by the boatload. I repeat stories, and I forget punchlines.
So, my comment to the Old Man is: “Come on in. Have a seat at the table. Might as well get to know each other.” Sorry, Clint.
Photographic Core Message
Lately, I’ve been viewing some of my old photos from a new perspective.
Question: What is the photo’s “Core Message?” Editing can make a huge difference. Recent examples:
Original
Edited for Core Message
Original
Core Message
Original
Core Message
Original
Core Message
So, use the “Crop” button and tease out the Core Message.
Dear Rick…I’m sitting here with my 88 year old dad, and read your “Old Man” blog to him – he laughed out loud, appreciating your invitation and levity. We just spent two hours last night with him telling 88 years of stories!!! Some of which I’ve heard before and some new ones…What a gift to have you and my dad around to keep us grounded and remembering to enjoy the moments….no matter what age we are! HAPPY 8 FUCKING 5 years Rick!
wonderful photos, rick, core and complete…..so, 85 is a year to celebrate….as noted only one percent of our birth group have reached this far into longevity….all good, and of course there are details, but our big picture is what counts the most….bravo, rick, 99% have not been as successful in living longer as you have…..
Sometimes context helps–the little girl with a fistful of dollars, reaching for the coin, has more of a story than just the coin reach. Toddler greed! I think she has a future at Goldman Sachs . . .
Ahh, the nouns go first (as you once told me). But I’m with you on letting the elder in. She brings her own memories, wisdom, and joy. Such a wonderful surprise. I like the concept of photos having a core message. I’ll look for them now. Thanks.
You seem contented to invite The Old Man in. This makes me smile.
I’m reflecting on the lunch I had this afternoon with a group of former colleagues ,all of us with “assistive devices” and decided to call ourselves “The CANE MUTINY”.
And tears streaming down from my reaction to my eye injection medication. Some things are harder to “let in” than others. But this too shall pass.
And an early Happy Birthday
And a belated Happy Birthday
and this is not an April fool’s joke