Going to the Dark Side

Like many in my…er…age group, I had cataract surgery last year. Leading up to the surgery, I had to attend a class and meet with a variety of people to learn what this was all about, e.g. things like post-surgery antibiotics. 

The last technician I met with was explaining some procedure or other, and my nervousness got the best of me. I asked a hypothetical question:

“Look, I’m worried about all this. I imagine being on the table, all medicated with my head immobilized and suddenly the big earthquake hits. My eye has been opened up and the lens removed, and the room starts shaking, ceiling tiles start falling and you people all run for cover. What happens to my eye? If I sit up, the vitreous humor fluid drains out and my eye collapses on itself. What then?”

Her response: “Oh my, you certainly can go to the dark side.”

Follow up note. A few months after my left eye was done, we did the right one. During the first procedure at least half a dozen people confirmed, pre-surgery, that they were doing the left eye. So, when I went in for the right eye, I added a foolproof graphic with eyeliner. 

Cracked them up.

6 thoughts on “Going to the Dark Side

  1. Funny, I never thought about an earthquake. It was so quick – I was in recovery before I knew it. It was amazing to actually see individual leaves on trees!

  2. Read the paperwork they hand you to sign after the first "relaxing" shot and before the really dopey shot. I was in for the old borescope procedure but the paperwork said colonectomey, not colonoscopy. I asked the nurse what ectomey means. She went running off to correct the error (and tell the OR to put the knifes away?). I had toe surgery and marked the OTHER toe "not this one". They did the wrong hip on a friend of mine…

    Smart man Rick—if you have to have both eyes, knees or whatever done, don’t mark the first one in case the do the wrong one the next one could be free, but always mark the second one.

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