Don’t Be A Wine Snob

I run with a fast-paced, full-bodied, silky, buttery crowd. For them, wine drinking is a blood sport. You better know your vineyards, top brands, pH levels, weather effects in different years and at different latitudes. Hands down, this crowd favors Rombauer Chardonnay, $38 / bottle. Because of the cost, Rombauer has been called “the doctors’ wives’ heroin.”
Now, I have nothing against Rombauer Chardonnay except the price. On many occasions, I eat dinner alone since my wife is often out with business colleagues. Since I don’t drink more than one glass with dinner, I see no reason to open a $38 bottle of wine. To my delight, I have found a great tasting substitute, Sutter Home Chardonnay, $1.99 / bottle. I secretly swapped out Rombauer for Sutter Home. People could not tell the difference. I even purchased (Amazon) a small stainless steel ice bucket so my Sutter Home can stay chilled at the table.

 

People have asked me to describe this amazing $1.99 / bottle chardonnay. Using concepts I have picked up from my wine-loving
friends, I’ve characterized it this way:

Sutter Home Chardonnay is a complex, intellectually satisfying, self-confident, medium-bodied, overtly-sexual, wine with some ass-spankin’ tasty corn bouquet. Grown on the eastern slope of the vineyard, it gets just the right amount of rain so the grapes have a perfectly balanced pH at harvest. This, of course, creates a self-important, though not overly conceited or boastful grape. So  Sutter Home Chardonnay has just the right blend of earthy, charcoally, medium-bodied flavor with hints of hypo-manic aftertaste. Just right for eating alone.

Oh, one more thing. The plastic bottle and screw top lid make it very convenient.

4 thoughts on “Don’t Be A Wine Snob

  1. I love the description of Sutter Home, but I love the tiny ice bucket even more! Be sure not to over-chill it, or you’ll lose all the subtle bouquet.

  2. Having married an Eastern Nevada cowgirl, a woman coming from a land where the scattered dried manure, occasional fresh jack rabbit shit and sage brush combines with long and hot months of pure sunshine, frequent high winds and dust to create a unique wine terrior. That wine producing environment makes locals ravish the wine department of Trader Joe’s selecting the highest quality wines with unparalleled lust.

    Eschewing the pedestrian choice of Charles Shaw, she recommends their Grifone Bianco at $3.99.

    Raise your sights and educate that palate!!

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